A factual description gives the reader a clear picture using facts in a chosen order. The order is what turns a list of details into a description.
This lesson is part of expository and practical writing in SPM Bahasa Cina. It pairs with explaining a process in clear stages, which covers events in time.
Which order should I choose?
Choose one of three patterns, and stay with it.
| Pattern | Use it for | Example opening |
|---|---|---|
| Whole to part | objects, buildings | 这台风扇分为底座、支架和扇叶三部分。 |
| Position | places, rooms | 从门口走进来，左边是…… |
| Importance | groups, features | 图书馆最重要的功能是…… |
Mixing patterns makes the reader lose the picture. Decide first, then write.
Worked example: a school library
Task: describe your school library to a new student, in about one hundred characters.
Facts gathered: on the second floor; open on school days; three areas; reading area on the left with long tables; shelves in the middle; computers on the right; a counter by the door.
Order chosen: position, starting from the door.
Model:
我校的图书馆在教学楼二楼。从门口进去，柜台就在旁边，借书和还书都在这里办理。左边是阅览区，摆着几张长桌，适合安静阅读。中间是书架区，按类别摆放图书。右边是电脑区，可以上网查资料。
The piece starts with where the library is, then moves through it in one direction. Each sentence adds one fact, and no sentence states an opinion.
A fact pile, marked up
Pile: 图书馆很大，也很安静。有电脑，也有书架，还有长桌。图书馆在二楼。我很喜欢那里。
| Problem | Effect |
|---|---|
| Opens with 很大 and 很安静 | Opinions that give no checkable fact |
| Facts in random order | The reader cannot picture where things are |
| No position words | Nothing tells the reader which item is where |
| Ends with 我很喜欢那里 | A personal comment that the task did not ask for |
The pile uses the same facts as the model, but the reader cannot build a map from it.
The mistake that costs marks
The common slip is to use adjectives in place of facts. 很大 says nothing about size, while 有三个区域 or 能容纳五十人 can be checked. Adjectives are easy to write but do not let the reader see the place.
The fix is to ask after each adjective: what fact shows this? Replace 很大 with the number of areas or the floor, and add a position word to every item.
Check yourself
Task: describe your classroom in about seventy characters.
Choose an order and write three sentences.
Answer
Model (position, from the door): 我们的课室在三楼，门口对着走廊。从门口进去，前面是黑板和老师的桌子，两旁各有一扇窗。学生的桌椅排成五行，后面放着一个书柜。
Order: door, front, middle, back. Each sentence adds positioned facts.
Checkpoint: if your first sentence said the room was nice or clean, replace it with a fact such as the floor or the number of rows.
What to study next
Continue with choosing appropriate format and register, or try the expository and practical writing practice set. The Chinese composition structure planner can help you draft the order first.
If you want a teacher to check your order before you write, see online one-to-one Chinese tuition.